...

To the tune of "Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard"

Mama Palmer clutched at her head
At the call from the police station
When she found out she began to shout
It was the start of the investigation

It was against the law
It was against the law
What our Waldo saw
It was against the law

Papa Palmer frowned and danced all around
Every time her name gets mentioned
He said "Somebody please come and dance with me"
Catherine did it to diffuse the tension

Well I'm on the case
I don't know where it's leading
I'm on the case
To a place both wonderful and strange
Goodbye Bobby, running your drugs
See ya Laura Palmer down in the Black Lodge
See ya Laura Palmer down in the Black Lodge

At the Roadhouse at night James got in a fight
But a biker helped Donna free
They let a quack of a shrink get
The shiny gold trinket
He put it at the top of a palm tree

Well I'm on the case
I don't know where it's leading
I'm on the case
To a place both wonderful and strange
Goodbye Bobby, running your drugs
See ya Laura Palmer down in the Black Lodge
See ya Laura Palmer down in the Black Lodge